Sheltering in the Rain

Change is the evidence of life and anything not changing is stagnant and in a state of decay. But when unwelcome change happens to us and interrupts our lives or moves us against our will or wellbeing, it doesn’t feel lively or vibrant. And frustrating is a nice big word that doesn’t quite cover it.

This post may not be for you right now. And that’s ok.

What I remember most-vividly about being laid-off was how the anxiety and fear made everything feel worse. Constantly cycling through worst-case scenarios meant I prepared only for that — not imagining any best-case scenarios. I landed somewhere in the middle, closer to “meh” and only because a very consistent community provided positivity through possibility that I couldn’t generate myself. I’d never reinvented myself before so how did I even know if I could!?

Getting more to the point: Sheltering used in this context is about steadying where you are, choosing what to focus on, and preparing for what you want (not avoiding what you don’t want). This post may not be for you right now. And that’s ok. But you who want perspective about how someone with generalized anxiety disorder gained clarity and focus during an extremely humbling… or humiliating… time of her life… read on.

Decide moment-to-moment if what’s happening outside of you is allowed inside of you.

What makes me feel grounded in times of unpleasant change or chaos?

• Accepting what is happening as just that. Diagnosing cause-and-effect with me in the center filled with shame doesn’t work for me.
• Recognizing that searching for the villain is counter-productive for me. Besides, usually you don’t have to look — they show you.
• Managing who I surrounded myself with
• Managing my time and energy with my “yes” and “no” (every time you say no to something, you say yes to something else)
• Repackaging myself to prepare for opportunities and regain confidence
• Understanding who to ask for help and when to ask them
• Deciding what the change will mean for me (I usually chose adventure)

What I realize while writing this is, it’s my own internal change management ritual, and helps me feel grounded in major pivots in life. It’s choosing the tools that help you decide moment-to-moment if what’s happening outside of you is allowed inside of you, and how you want to be with it.

Let me caveat — I still can spiral and spin at times. I am not an impervious fortress of clarity and flawless decision making. (I can only write this right now because my heart moved me to do so). But I want to share tools that help me clear my mind and make the best next choice I can with the information in my hands.

After reinventing myself and career several times (sometimes choice, sometimes circumstance), I believe that when change hits— take a beat and figure out what you need. This may be a long or short pause but take the time. Decide what the change will mean for you and how YOU want to reflect on the experience in the future. What needs to be true for you to have that experience? Now… how do you get that? Let’s go!

I’m rooting for you.

DISCLAIMER: Engaging with this content does not constitute as a coach-coachee relationship or client advice. If you choose to solely rely on this content without consulting a professional coach, counselor, career planner, mentor, etcetera — you acknowledge that this is a personal decision to act upon non-directive reflections of my own experience.