Your talk IS the walk
I believe that language is the great equalizer. In addition to what we communicate, how we do it matters — and it’s why even when people fundamentally agree on what was said, they can disagree on how it was communicated.
Both communicated and observed language impacts your mindset. And your mindset influences your actions (or inaction).
The importance of language is one of the many reasons why I believe that diversity, equity, and inclusion work must come with an intentional language practice. In spaces where a variety of experiences will come forward and various points of view, there is much opportunity to misunderstand. Clarifying what words truly mean in your culture and setting a standard for equitable communication is a game-changer.
In recent years, legacy language norms that condone oppression and erasure are being challenged as folx seek to build more equitable and inclusive systems. Examples include — real estate (“master” bedroom), publishing (“slave” and “master” files), marketing (“white list” and “black list”) and even medicine (looking beyond assigned gender).
When I work with companies to assess their language norms, we build a language around the culture they want and intentionally purge what no longer belongs in their conversation diet. This is not just an academic exercise — it’s the powerful start of a new social contract. Language can be exclusive, polarizing, and facilitate cultural inequities or it can be welcoming, inclusive, and set the foundation for connection.
Language is a primary cultural cue. Want to test it out for yourself?
Listen and observe how your colleagues communicate. Put your mission statement aside and note the verbal and non-verbal language normalized in meetings, emails, and team chats. Pay attention to how the dominant voices speak, how they communicate with each other based on identity, and how the team reacts. THIS is your culture.
Come on GUYS — this isn’t rocket science!
When doing peer-based research for this piece, the most common feedback I received was about the pervasive tendency to address everyone as, “guys” in a conversation. One woman even mentioned a team meeting where the leader addressed everyone “gentlemen,” so she stayed quiet. Below, I’ve listed a few alternatives for you to thoughtfully try. Add your own in the comments:
- Team
- Team and guests
- Squad
- Everyone
- Everybody
- All Stars
- Adjective + People (i.e. Brilliant People)
- Folks or Folx
- Friends
- All
Extra friendly types of terms to be used within highly familiar settings — do not use unnaturally:
- Mates
- Fam
- Peeps
It’s been my experience that as teams go through inclusive language workshops, the value of shared, intentional language becomes clear. In addition to demystifying jargon, we craft language to reflect the culture you want and reinforce desired behaviors. Remember — actions stem from thought, and thoughts stem from language.
Used equitably, language can offer a common ground for understanding, even when folks disagree. It’s the great equalizer that, when harnessed for inclusive transformation, allows you to identify who you are and build towards who you want to be.
Many thanks to contributing editor, Meana Kasi.
